


Hidden Truth's

by alyssa146



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bottom Jared Padalecki, CVS, Childhood Sweethearts, Clueless Jared, Danneel is Jared's mom, Danneel is actually helpful, Fainting, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Hospitals, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Jensen Ackles/Danneel Harris, Pining Jensen, Protective Jensen Ackles, Rape Recovery, Relationship(s), Sassy Jared, Sick Jared Padalecki, Temporary Amnesia, Top Jensen Ackles, True Love, Underage Sex, Unrequited Love, Young Jared Padalecki, Young Jensen Ackles, blocking memories, forgetful, good mom Danneel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-14 07:12:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7159046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyssa146/pseuds/alyssa146
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes there's thing's better left forgotten...and sometimes there's not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Don’t be frightened little one; I won’t hurt you…much.”

Small hands shoved at broad shoulders, tears streaming in a flowing river down the little boys face as he scrambled to get away “ please don’t touch me, just leave me alone! I won’t tell anyone I promise—“

The man smiled cruelly as he gripped the boy’s waist in a crushing grip “your right… you won’t.”

 

“Jare honey can you come down here please?”

Jared let out a frustrated groan before pushing his biology book to the side and making his way down the stairs and to the kitchen. “Mom I’m really busy, exams are next week and I don’t have time to—“

A very attractive—no fuck that a sexy ass man was leaning against the kitchen island, arms crossed and brow raised. Jared was aware he probably looked completely dumbfounded at the moment with his mouth practically hanging open and catching flies, so to save himself he turned to his mom with quizzical eyes and she smiled knowingly. “Sweetie this is Jensen… my boyfriend, Jensen this is my son Jared.”

Jared’s eyes bugged out and he let out a choked cough “boyfriend? Are you kidding me right now? Mom his like way younger than you! Are you having a midlife crisis? Is that what this is, are you punishing me for leaving? I mean good God how old are you?”

“Jared!—“

“It’s ok Danni, his upset I totally get it.”

Danni? Jared snarled his nose up at the smooth talking freckled man before narrowing his eyes into thin slits “upset? Oh no I’m passed that… pissed and disgusted is more like it. You’re what 24? Are you aware my mother is almost 40? 2 more years and she’ll be there, menopause is hitting soon! So the only thing I figure is that you’re a male gold digger.”

Danneel’s jaw dropped and she stared at Jared with incredulous eyes “Jared Tristan what has gotten into you?”

Jensen stepped forward with a cunning smirk “I’m 23 actually, I run my own publishing company so there’s no reason for me to be a gold digger as you said, and I’m with your mom because I care for her.”

Jared scoffed “care right… that must be what I see in your eyes. Well if were done with this freak show I have homework to do.”

 

23? Has his mother completely lost her mind? What happened to the head strong, independent business woman that needed no man? Jared shivered in repulsion before flopping on his bed and dialing Chad’s number.

“Your moms a cougar? Damn who would have known? I mean MILF yes—“

“Ok you’re done. You should see this guy Chad, his gorgeous! But his got this cocky attitude like his God’s gift.”

“MILF stalkers usually are Jaybird—“

“Can we please drop the MILF thing? I think I’m gonna barf. My mom is 38 this man is 15 years younger than her, why in the hell would you wanna date someone that much older than you when you look like that?”

“Maybe his a player? I mean why stop at the 20’s if your hot go for it.”

Jared closed his eyes and shook his head “I don’t even know why I bother. You know I called to vent and I expected you to be on my side.”

“Your right… fuck that speckled face boy toy, grave digger and his smug arrogance.”

“Thanks Chad, glad you could help.”

“I’m always here for your support buddy.”

 

His phone call with Chad didn’t go the way he planned. He stayed in his room the rest of the night, not wanting to risk seeing Jensen again afraid he would puke.

After giving Chad some more details about the green eyed God Chad decided he had no choice but to follow Jared home that evening after school and see this man for himself.

So when they arrived at Jared’s house they found Jensen in the kitchen, head in the fridge and Chad snorted “do you not have a job?”

Jensen turned to face them, his eyes scanning Jared up and down before settling on Chad “I own the company so I’m allowed a day off.”

“How very conceited of you Jenny.”

Jared bit his lip to hide his smile but couldn’t stop the slip of a laugh he let through causing Jensen to send him a hard look.

“Do you like live here?”

“I have my own place—“

“Shouldn’t you be there? Last time I checked your invitation didn’t extend past a day so you can leave now… or do you just have no life?” Jared questioned as Jensen finally stepped away from the fridge. “Your mother asked me to stay the night—“

“Well that was last night and its today so you can go now.” And with that he took Chad’s arm and dragged him up the stairs and to his room.

“Dude that guy is a total bum-ass loser; I see why you hate him… his cockier than me!”

Jared nodded in thought “and that’s saying something… what am I gonna do?”

“Your gonna fake it, pretend its ok and then in 4 short months you and I will be on our way to New York City my friend .”


	2. Truth Be Told

“Jared it’s time to eat come on!”

Jared sat up on his bed and sent a hateful glare to his bedroom door, hoping it would somehow make its way downstairs and hit his mother in the face. “I’m not hungry!”

“I don’t care get your butt down here now!”

Jared let out a loud groan that he hoped she heard before stomping down the stairs only to freeze, his sitting options were slim either way his neighbor would be Jensen. So very unwillingly, and showing it he trudged over and plopped in his seat with a scowl “I’m not hungry, I gave to study.”

Danneel looked up from her plate and glared across the table “your gonna eat anyway, you haven’t ate since lunch and you know how that affects you.”

“Affects him?”

Danneel faced Jensen with a small smile “Jare has CVS… cyclic vomiting syndrome. Sometimes his so sick his in bed for days, then others he eats like a horse. He also has PTSD when he was little—“

“Mom!”

“What? I’m only—“

“Not everyone needs to know I’m a vomiting freak with emotional issues please!”

“You are not a freak! Your perfect, what happened is—“

Jared ducked his head and closed his eyes as the world started to spin, his mother rambled on, but he was slipping so he jumped up and moved his hands wildly trying to plaster them on any surface.

“Honey?” Danneel rushed over to him and held her hands out, reaching for him “you’re not there… you’re here with me ok? I’ve got you, he is gone do you hear me? Its ok sweetie.”

Jared came back slowly, his head buzzing and mind foggy as he sinked into his mother’s arms “mama?”

Danneel gave him a watery smile and stroked his clammy face “hey there baby, you with me?”

Jared nodded mutely before shuddering, closing his eyes as tears threatened “I saw—“

“I know and it wasn’t real ok? Just a flashback but it wasn’t real baby that asshole is gone your safe now.”

“Is he ok?” Jensen stood with a concerned face as Jared bent over in his mother’s arms with a ghostly pale damp face, his hair sticking to his forehead. He wanted to run to Jared and scoop him up in his arms but he couldn’t, not yet… not when he was so fragile.

“Do you want me to take him to his room?”

Danneel looked up with a grateful smile “would you? When he has these episodes he kinda nods off and fades away for a bit so you’ll have to carry him.”

Jensen leaned down and gently lifted Jared in his arms and carefully made his way to his room. Jared’s eyes were barley open when he set him down and as he turned to leave Jared’s wobbly hand shot out and gripped his wrist as he looked up lazily, struggling to keep his eyes open “thanks…” he mumbled before slipping, his hand falling on the cold sheet.

Jensen smiled softly as he brushed Jared’s hair back “anything for you Jay…I’d do anything for you.”

 

“When are you gonna tell him?”

Jensen froze at the question and turned with wide eyes “what do you mean?”

Danneel smiled “you think I don’t recognize you? The boy who saved my babies life?”

Jensen closed his eyes and backed up “I’m sorry I didn’t know how else to—“

“Jensen its ok I knew who you were the moment I saw you, I let you play your game because I know your intentions. I will never forget that day…”

Jensen let out a shaky breath and took a seat “I wish I could… I knew something had been going on and I didn’t do anything, I could have—“

“Done nothing,” Danneel laid her hand on his shoulder as she sat next to him “you were 15 Jensen he was 18—you did enough you called the cops, you carried him out, you ended it. If anything it’s my fault I’m his mother and I didn’t see it! I didn’t protect my baby, I let him down.”

Jensen watched as Danneel sobbed, her makeup smearing “it’s not—“

“Don’t tell me it’s not my fault,” she hissed “I am his mother and that bastard was raping my son for months! But I was too busy with work to even notice that my little boy was hurting, that he was trying to tell me something. No I was preoccupied with my own self-loathing.”

“Mr. P had just died its understandable—“

Danneel shook her head, her eyes bloodshot and swollen “do you know he couldn’t even look at me? My own son wanted nothing to do with me; he had to go through that alone because he couldn’t stand to be around me…sometimes I still think he blames me. It’s been 8 years and the nightmares still happen, they haven’t changed he has those flashbacks and his right back with that son of a bitch.”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you, I hope you can forgive me I didn’t know what else to do I never forgot Jared… just seems he forgot me.”

Danneel stroked his cheek and smiled sadly “it wasn’t intentional Jensen he blocked a lot of things out… I think he would remember if you told him. His just tried so hard to forget as much as he could about that… that boy took something from him, it broke him—it ruined his innocent mind. Listen Jensen I’ll go along with your charade a little longer but his leaving soon and you don’t have much time.”

Jensen sighed and tipped his head back “yeah… I know.”

 

Jared’s head was pounding, he felt confused and drained. He rolled in his bed and glanced at the clock, it was 10 so he was guessing there would be no school for him today.

He remembered Jensen carrying him to bed, how familiar it felt, like maybe it’s happened before. Jared shook his head and sighed, that was crazy he didn’t even know Jensen. So why did it feel like he did?

An hour later Jared made his way to the kitchen where his mother sat at the bar with her coffee. “Honey your awake! How do you feel?”

He shrugged and sat down “lifeless…where’s Jensen?”

She ducked her head “work, he had some meetings today he couldn’t get out of it.”

“Mom I—never mind.”

Danneel stood and smoothed her dress out “you hungry? How about some waffles?”

Jared smiled weakly as his mom puttered around the kitchen with worried hands “is Jensen coming later?” Danneel turned and gave him a curious look “why?”

“Well I thought…I thought I would thank him, I still don’t approve but it wasn’t his job to help me.”

It took all she had to keep the secret in as she made her way over to her son who looked the same as he did that day, a helpless little boy “baby Jensen and I’s relationship…well were more like friends, it’s very new so nothing is happening, nothing will happen.”

Jared frowned “mom last night when he carried me it all felt so familiar like it’s happened before… but that’s impossible right? I mean I don’t even know him.”

She opened her mouth to answer, she was gonna crack, she was a terrible liar—hell he could probably see right through her at that very moment… she couldn’t lie to her son—

“Hello?”

She let out a relieved sigh as Jensen walked in only to freeze at the sight of a dazed Jared sitting at the kitchen bar. He looked to Danneel with slightly panicked eyes before clearing his throat “you’re up…are you feeling better?” Jensen croaked. Jared nodded as Danneel sat his breakfast down “much…I’m sorry you had to see that, it happens every once in a while but thank you for carrying me.”

Jensen was positive his voice had left him as he watched Jared stare at him, waiting for a reply with questioning eyes. But all he could think about was that miserable night he carried a bleeding, crying boy out to flashing lights and loud voices.

“It’s uh no problem really I—I’m glad you’re okay.”

Jared gave him a weak smile before digging into his food. Jensen looked back up to Danneel who gave him an encouraging smile before giving Jared a kiss on the head and leaving the room.   
“Mom said you two are taking it slow.”

Jensen’s mouth bobbed at the startling statement, no question hidden in the sentence “she did? Well yes that’s true I guess were just… seeing what happens.”

“Listen what you did was nice and I want my mom to be happy but I don’t approve my mom is almost 40 years old, she’s been single for quite some time ever since my dad died sure there have been men here and there but no one who ever mattered.”

Jensen smiled despite himself “well if it makes you feel any better I think we’re going to stay friends…I believe we have different tastes.”

Jared leaned forward, eyes narrowed “there’s something about you, I don’t know it’s like I know you, maybe you remind me of someone.”

Jensen’s throat closed up as Jared shook his head and left the room without another word, his heart pounded in alarm as he swayed to sit down. Maybe the more he interacted with Jared the more it would jog his memory and maybe, just maybe he would remember Jensen.

Well there was only one way to find out .


	3. Time

“So how do you feel?”

Jared rolled his eyes and looked up at Jensen “you know last time I checked you didn’t live here…so why are you always here?”

Jensen flopped down next to him and gave him a look to which Jared huffed at “it feels fine…all I did was graduate high school.”

“Last time I checked that was a big deal…soon you’ll be off to college,” Jensen trailed off as the realization dawned on him. College, in as little as 2 months Jared would be packing up and taking off to New York City and Jensen would be left here, once again.

“Say to celebrate how about we go to dinner? Any place you want.”

Jared leaned back on the couch and gave Jensen a firm stare “why do you wanna take me out? Besides mom is taking me to dinner Friday so—“

“Yeah your mom is and that will be your time with her but I thought why not give you another fancy dinner? Besides we both know your moms gonna tell you that you can pick but she’ll end up deciding for you it’s always been that way.”

Jared was nodding as Jensen talked till he made it to the last line, then Jared turned with a confused frown “always? How would you know that?”

Shit.

He backtracked as fast as he could “I mean with what I’ve seen it just seems that she always picks for you so I thought at least this way you can actually get what you want.”

Jared eyed him curiously for a couple minutes, his eyes sharp like he was trying to figure something out before he finally nodded “yeah I guess that’s ok…can we go get sushi? Mom hates it.”  
Jensen smiled and let out a relieved breath “of course we can.”

 

“I can’t even remember the last time I’ve had sushi, mom hates it and so do my friends I don’t know why I think it’s pretty good.”

Jensen smiled at Jared across the table; he could recall the first time Jared had sushi. Jensen had invited Jared to come to dinner with him and his parents, they had went to a popular Japanese restaurant downtown, the one they were at now and Jensen’s parents ordered some sushi and Jared had to try it. Jensen was ready to see that snarled up face Jared gave whenever he didn’t like something but was surprised when Jared asked for more.

Jensen had to admit he had brought Jared to this place on purpose hoping he would remember something.

Jared looked around the restaurant with probing eyes, there was something wracking his brain at the familiarity of the place like he had been here before. But he hadn’t, none of his friends like food like this, his mom definatly didn’t so why did he feel like his been here?

He looked up at Jensen and cocked his head in thought before suddenly he was clenching his eyes shut as a sharp pain shot through his head, a memory flashing in his head him and the boy sitting in this restaurant with two other adults, laughing as Jared happily swallowed down sushi.

“Jared?”

He looked up with wide eyes and shook his head “I’m sorry I just… I keep having these flashbacks of me and this boy, it’s strange because he seems a little older than me and all my friends are my age.”

Jensen straightened up in his chair with an alarmed face “a boy? What boy?”

“I don’t know… every time I have a flashback I never get the chance to see his face all I know is that in these flashbacks I call him Jen, a nickname I guess.”

Jensen gasped as his heart thundered against his chest, an overwhelming feeling of sadness overcoming him as a memory of a smaller Jared calling him Jen for the first time and the happiness he had felt.

“Are you ok? I thought I was the only one allowed to space out.” Jared said the first real crack of a sense of humor Jensen had heard.

Jensen chuckled and nodded his head “sorry my mind was… in a different time. So what do you want to eat?”

 

It was getting harder and harder not to just blurt everything out, to scream at the top of his lungs and tell Jared that he was Jen; he was the boy who loved him more than anything. He knew he only had a short time before Jared left, before he took off half way across the country and what would he do then? Spend the rest of his days in miserable agony because he couldn’t grow some balls?

He would tell him, he would there was no way he could keep this to himself even if that meant bringing all the dark memories back up he was selfish. He wanted Jared for himself, wanted to hold him and kiss him, comfort him when his sick.

He was finally losing his mind, that had to be it all these years since that day and he was finally snapping his lid. 

Since they had gotten back from the restaurant Jared kept feeling like maybe his done all this before with Jensen, but he knew that had to be impossible he didn’t know Jensen and there is absolutely no way he knew him before now.

But then again who was that boy in his flashbacks? The boy he called Jen which just so happened to be short for Jensen…was it all a coincidence?

He could vaguely remember being in the hospital all those years ago and a boy came to see him, a boy he didn’t know. When Jared had told him he had no idea who he was the boy…Jen he assumed looked so hurt and broken and left with tears in his eyes.

Jared lay on his bed and closed his eyes and slipped into darkness.

 

Dream**

“Come on Jay!”

Jared tried to run faster after the older boy but he just couldn’t catch up, Jen was just too fast “slow down! You’re running to fast!”

Jen laughed but didn’t slow down, Jared felt his legs start to weaken before he tripped over a sharp rock and suddenly he was tumbling to the ground and crying out in pain.

The boy stopped and turned around with wide eyes and took off running back to Jared “Jay are you ok?”

Jared looked up at the boy with tears in his eyes and stared into the boy’s emerald green eyes, and freckles littering his face and—

Jared shot up in his bed, his breathing erratic and his heart pounding as memories flooded his brain “I remember…I remember everything.”


	4. I Remember You

A loud banging persisted on Jensen’s door; he rolled in his bed his eyes wincing at the time. Who the hell would be knocking on his door at 2 a.m.?

He got up and slipped a t-shirt on before groggily walking to the door and swinging it open only for his mouth to drop in surprise.

Jared was standing, soaking wet, hair dripping from the rain. His cheeks were pink and his eyes swollen, he was still in his flannel pajama bottoms and white shirt which was drenched and Jensen could see right through it and he had a distraught look on his face.

“Jared? What are you doing here it’s late—“

“Jen.” Jared whispered out, a barley there mumble but Jensen heard him.

Jensen halted in panic as he stared into Jared’s moist eyes, a small look of betrayal on his face “I remember you…I remember everything, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I—I wanted you to remember me on your own.”

Jared scoffed and shook his head “on my own? You lied your way into my house…you were fake dating my mom! God what were you hoping for? That I would remember and everything would be ok? You lied to me; you looked at me every day and didn’t tell me who you were. You let me go through these flashbacks of you and pretended you had no clue, you carried me to my bed when I fainted, you acted clueless when mom told you about my illnesses and you—“Jared choked off with a gasping sob “you made me remember that night.”

Jensen flinched as tears fell from his eyes in heaps, watching Jared crumble in front of him wasn’t what he wanted, he knew it was a long shot but he was hoping once Jared remembered him he would be happy and there would be no angry tears.

Jared closed his eyes as he cried, his hair sticking to his cheeks making the tears dampen his hair even more “I remember him…how for months he tortured me and put me through hell and mom wouldn’t even believe me… but then there was you and you made everything better, you made me forget for a little while. But that night he—I don’t know he wanted more and God I was so young I didn’t understand any of it, I didn’t know what he was doing or why he was hurting me and I cried for you! I begged for you to come save me but nothing happened, except he took me to my bedroom, told me I needed to get ready for bed but all of a sudden he was naked and…and then I was on my stomach and he,” Jared turned his head as a river of tears flowed down his cheeks and dropped off to the floor in puddles. Jensen felt his heart clench as he heard Jared’s side, a part he had never heard before, something he never had to listen to. 

“It hurt so bad, I felt like I was being torn apart but none of that mattered because I was numb it was like my body was in so much pain it just shut down and the only thing I could think about was you.” Jared looked up and locked his teary eyes onto Jensen’s “I loved you so much and I know I was only 10 years old but I did and I know you loved me to I saw it that night when you came to the door and heard me screaming you were only 15 but you busted in and threw him off me and suddenly there were flashing lights, and people everywhere, my mom crying but you held me in your arms and didn’t let go. I didn’t know you when you came to the hospital but I remember the look on your face and how my heart broke at the sight and I was confused because I didn’t know you so why did I feel so sad?”

Jensen let out a silent sob his body shaking in despair as he listened to Jared share his story, the pain breaking through him in a rush as Jared unfolded his truth, he stepped forward, his arms open and reaching for Jared but he stepped back “I have been in love with you since I was 6 years old and I know I didn’t remember but nothing’s changed…but you lied to me, you came in my house and looked me in the eye every day and lied to me. If you loved me you would have said something, you know I would have remembered straight away but instead you lied and pretended to date my mom and drug her in this! And now what am I supposed to do? Pretend everything’s ok and forget it? I’m tired of forgetting! I’m tired of pretending everything’s ok because it’s not! Because of what he did to me I’m so sick I can’t even shut my eyes without seeing him, I can’t sleep at night without taking my medicine, I take tons of prescriptions every day because I can’t function without them! I throw up constantly, somedays I can’t even get out of bed, there will be months I spend in the hospital hooked up to dozens of machines just to get nutrients because I can’t keep anything down and it hurts because I love to eat but I can’t I lose at least 20 pounds every month because my immune system is shot! He ruined me, he ripped me apart and sewed me back together, but I feel like pieces of me are missing and he took things from me that weren’t his… I wanted them to be yours and he took them away and then you the boy who I thought would never lie to me did.”

Jensen could feel his heart breaking at the sight of Jared, how wrecked he looked and Jensen knew it was his fault “I’m sorry Jay I’m so sorry I know I did this wrong but I didn’t know what else to do. God Jay you have to know I love you, I’ve loved you since the day I met you when you stumbled into my yard and I saw those dimples in your cheeks I’ve loved you. That bastard got what he deserved and he will never hurt you again and I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner, I’m sorry that I let him do that to you, I’m sorry that when I came to that hospital I just let you forget me, I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder for you but baby let me fix it now, let me give you what you deserve, let me love you. You are the only person I have ever loved and you always will be, I know I shouldn’t of lied and pretended to be with your mom but I did because she knew me and she knows how much I love you and I just wanted you to remember me before you left and I lost you forever. I’ve spent 8 years without you please don’t make me spend more.”

Jared looked down and wiped at his eyes before running his fingers through his hair, brushing it back and making his red-rimmed eyes evident. A battle was going on inside him, he didn’t know what to do a small part was telling me to stay angry, to hold onto this a while longer so Jensen could feel the way he did but another part told him to let it go and forgive me him because Jensen was his true love and he knew there was no one else but him. And he knew Jensen loved him and somehow even though he wasn’t aware of who Jensen was there was a part of him that could feel the love from him.

“I want to be infuriated at you… I want to walk out this door and I want to tell you not to come back to my house, not to talk to my mom or me. I want you to hurt like I did, to want something but not know what it is…I want to tell you that I don’t love you and that I never want to see you again because you hurt me. I want to hate you for coming to that hospital and leaving me there…for not trying harder to make me remember, for not getting to know me again if I couldn’t because you took a coward’s way out! And you left me.”

No he couldn’t, Jared couldn’t do that to him he just got him back, he remembered him Jared couldn’t possibly tell him to leave, to block him out once again Jensen didn’t know if he could get through it again he couldn’t live without Jared.

Jared tipped his head back and gave a shaky sigh before looking back to Jensen “but I can’t because…because I do love you, so much that it hurts and every day without you felt like torment. For years I’ve felt like something was missing and I didn’t know what it was and now that I remember…please don’t leave me again.”

Jensen closed his eyes before rushing over and pulled a bawling Jared in his arms before pressing desperate, almost life threatening kisses to his head and down his neck, hugging him tight to his body like he was afraid he would disappear “I will never let you go again I promise .”


	5. Love And Anger

Jared decided he wasn’t ready to go back home yet, he was still upset with his mother, unable to understand why his mother would agree to be with Jensen in the first place.

Jensen explained his mother didn’t say anything to him till that night he fainted which to Jared pissed him off because his mother agreed to date Jensen even though he knew who he was. To top it off since the memories came flooding back in so did his feelings, and suddenly he was angry with his mother because she didn’t believe him.

Now that Jared remembered who Jensen was he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off him, afraid that if he looked away or even left that maybe he would forget or maybe he was dreaming and none of this was even happening.

Jensen watched Jared sit silently on his bed now cozily changed into a pair of Jensen’s sweatpants and t-shirt just watching Jensen.

Jensen decided he was too far away so he carefully walked over and scooted against the headboard before reaching under Jared’s arms and dragging him back into his embrace, and burying his face in Jared’s silky hair “everything’s ok now Jay I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.”

“Except I am,” Jared turned in Jensen’s arms his eyes filled with more tears “I leave for New York in 2 months, I’ll be without you again—“

Jensen shushed Jared softly and bent down to kiss his forehead “no you won’t… I told you I run my own publishing company and that wasn’t a lie and it so happens that my company has its own building in New York which means I’m coming with you… you’re not getting rid of me so easily not this time.”

Jared let out a shaky laugh as he threw his arms around Jensen’s neck, practically cutting off his air supply as he cried out happy tears “I love you Jensen, I love you so much.”

Jensen smiled as he held Jared tight, his breathing no longer a concern as Jared whispered his declarations of love in his ear “I love you to baby…I always have, and I always will.”

 

Danneel had called Jared constantly, never letting him have a moments peace 30 times total and Jared hadn’t answered a single one.

It’s not that he didn’t miss his mom, he just wasn’t ready to speak to her all of those feelings from so long ago came rushing back and once again they were stirred up and he was reminded with the fact that his own mother didn’t trust him in the most important thing that a mother should never doubt.

He could still remember that night as he laid on that hard hospital bed, his mother sitting next to him with a hopeless look. Jared couldn’t even look at her, he was so mad that she didn’t save him, that she didn’t stop it sooner instead all he could remember were the flashing lights and loud sirens and assumed the police had just shown up thanks to a neighbor.

He was mad that she didn’t try to jog his memory, to make him remember Jensen instead she just let him walk out of his life without a care in the world. Jensen the only true friend he ever really had, Jensen the boy who protected him always from anyone, Jensen the love of his life. She uttered not one word and sat there and watched as Jared stared at Jensen in confusion, not understanding who the boy in front of him crying was and she let him leave without even looking at him.

Jensen had tried to assure him that he held no grudge against Danneel, that all she was thinking at the time was getting her baby better and Jensen was the last thing she was worried about but Jared didn’t care and told Jensen so, that he just wasn’t ready yet.

So Jensen let it go and told Jared he could stay as long as he wanted to, forever if he liked but told him they both needed to start packing very soon because they had decided they would leave a little sooner than planned.

Jared had called his school, after talking to Chad, and told them he didn’t need a dorm anymore because he would be staying with Jensen in his apartment.

That was probably the most exciting part about leaving for school that he was getting to live with Jensen, his best friend.

He knew he should probably still be a little angry with Jensen but he couldn’t because his lived so long without Jensen in his life, even though it felt like yesterday that Jensen carried him out of his house, bleeding and crying in pain.

“Jay?”

Jared jumped and looked up as he was startled out of his thoughts to a concerned Jensen “are you ok baby? Do you need to lie down?”

Jared smiled softly and shook his head before he moved over to climb in Jensen’s lap, who wrapped his arms around Jared’s waist securely. “I was just lost in thought is all…somewhere in the past I’m fine thought I promise.”

Jensen looked up and brushed his fingers through Jared’s hair who closed his eyes in content “you shouldn’t be in the past…that’s not something you need to think about Jay.”

“I know… but now that I remember everything it’s hard not to think about it. It’s like that’s all that circulates in my mind is him hurting me and ruining my life, making me forget you.”

Jensen leaned forward and bumped his forehead against Jared’s “baby don’t let mess you up ok? Were together now and nothing will tear us apart, I will never leave you Jay I love you and I plan to spend the rest of my life with you whether you like it or not that asshole is in jail and his gonna spend the rest of his life there.”

Jared smiled and leaned back before squinting his eyes playfully “I think maybe you should kiss me now… I’ve waited long enough don’t you think?”

Jensen snorted and smiled up at Jared before leaning in and pressing his lips to Jared’s, sliding his tongue over his lips before he opened and let Jensen in their tongues moving wetly, their mouths in perfect sync. 

The kiss was sweet and gentle yet full of passion and longing, a tad different than what Jared expected. He had been waiting for the desperateness, the clashing of teeth and bruising of lips from being apart for so long but that didn’t happen.

Instead Jensen pressed a few more pecks on his lips before pressing another on his nose and laying Jared back on the bed with an I love you.

He pulled the covers back and pulled Jared under with him, yanking the covers over their heads and they huddled under together with childish grins. Jensen opened his arms and sighed as Jared folded himself happily in them, pressing a kiss on Jensen’s arm “I love you Jen…”

“I love you Jay .”


	6. Some Truth

“Jay I love you and I’m totally fine with you staying with me till we leave for New York but you have to talk to your mom. She’s called every day; 10 times a day since you left she misses you.”

Jared closed his eyes and huffed “I know Jen I just…it’s not really that she agreed to fake date you it’s just all these memories came rushing back. I’m just so mad at her…she didn’t believe me, she let it happen and she didn’t believe me, my own mother didn’t believe me about the most important thing.”

Jensen sat down next to him and pulled him in his arms “I know baby, it’s hard I get it but you’ve never talked to your mom about your feelings and maybe it’s time you did.”

 

He was right; Jared knew that which is why he was currently standing in his living-room with Jensen by his side, his mom in front of him feeling like he was meeting a stranger for the first time. When the actual incident happened, they ignored it, pretended it never happened. He could remember, could feel how mad he was at her while he was lying in that hospital bed, beaten and broken. His mom sat right next to him totally silent and he couldn't even look at her. He refused to even look her way the whole time he was in the hospital, he couldn't because in his mind his mother, his hero, the only parent he had left let him down.

He couldn't help but think that none of this would have even happened if his dad was still alive. His dad would have taken one look at Jesse and saw instantly what Jared did, a no good, disgusting human being who deserved to die for the things he did. He knew that if he would have told his dad what had been going on there would have been no question, no sense of doubt because his dad would have killed Jesse and Jared knew it. In fact sometimes he found himself wishing his dad was alive just so he could watch as he did kill Jesse, because that son of a bitch deserves it.

“I know I shouldn’t blame you for something that happened 8 years ago but I do…I do because you are my mother and you weren’t there for me. The one person who is supposed to believe me no matter what didn’t…I tried to tell you over and over again and you wouldn’t listen, you let him hurt me for months. Jensen was the one who saved me…and you just let me forget him. You let Jensen walk out of my life without any concern for my well-being all you thought about was yourself that maybe with Jensen gone I would have to go to you for comfort but I didn’t did I? You know if dad would have been there he wouldn't have questioned me, he wouldn't have looked at me and told me i was overreacting, he would have believed me without a second thought but all you cared about was yourself! You didn't care that your little boy was hurting, that he was being tortured you didn't even see it...how? Why didn't you see it?"

Danneel ducked her head as a sob erupted from her throat, her hand clasping over her mouth “baby I know I messed up back then I know that, I should have believed you…my only son, my little boy but I didn’t and I’m so sorry honey if i could take it back i would--"

Jared shook his head fiercely “quit it! God just quit it okay? You shouldn’t even be apologizing your my mom… my only mom, do you remember what you told me?” Jared mocked as tears streamed down his tan cheeks “you said that I shouldn’t tell lies because one day they might actually come true…well guess what mommy? They did…and you let me stay in the dark for 8 years, you let me go through those flashbacks, you watched me be totally miserable and that whole time I could have had Jensen! I could have had some happiness in my life instead of being in agony, of wishing everday i could just die."

Jensen put his arms around Jared’s trembling body as the tears wracked through him causing his shoulders to shake. Danneel was doing no better, her mouth bobbing feebly as she tried but failed to comfort her child and honestly Jensen felt sorry for her… but all this seemed so fresh for Jared it was like it happened yesterday and there was no helping Danneel right now, he couldn't even if he wanted to.

Jared tipped his head back as his vision blurred from the heavy tears and shook his head before standing “mom I love you and I will forgive you but I can’t right now…Jensen and I are leaving for New York early his coming with me so I’m going to finish packing and I’ll come see you before we leave.”

Danneel shot up as Jared started up the stairs, she raced after him and Jensen followed. Jared was in his closet taking big handfuls of clothes and throwing them on his bed as Danneel stood around him unsure of what to say but knowing it had to be something. “Sweetie please don’t leave like this…your my little boy I know I can’t change what happened but honey let’s just put it past us and forget—“

Jensen closed his eyes, that was the wrong thing to say.

Jared slowly turned around, his eyes raging with anger, his fists clenched and heated tears in his eyes “forget? That’s the answer isn’t it? If little Jared just forgets all the problems will be solved! Well you know what mother? I’m sick and tired of forgetting for everyone else’s benefit! This is my life and you know what? I don’t want to forget.”

Jared heaved up his bag and took Jensen by the arm, dragging him down the steps and out the door.

“Are you sure your—“

Jared stopped and leveled Jensen with a firm, determined stare before nodding his head “I’m sure…I need this right now Jen, she’s my mom and I love her and I always will and I know maybe I shouldn’t blame her for something that happened a long time ago but I’ve never forgiven her for not believing me. Now that I remember you it’s like all these feelings came rushing back and I’m reminded with the fact that my mother wasn’t there for me, that she let him hurt me.”

Jensen’s eyes lowered in sorrow before he reached out to clutch Jared’s trembling hand in his and pulled him close till Jensen could bury his nose in Jared’s hair before giving him a kiss “it’s up to you…I’m here for you and I totally support you, besides you have me and you always will.”


	7. New Chapter

The soft morning glow floated in through the window, creating an angelic glow around Jared’s bare body, the light making him seem even more beautiful.

Jensen was turned on his side, propped on his elbow as he watched Jared sleep peacefully, his breathing even and mellow. No matter how many times Jensen looked at Jared, no matter how long they’ve known each other he still couldn’t believe how gorgeous Jared was.

Jensen moved closer and skimmed his hand down Jared’s back, watching with a soft smile as light goosebumps appeared over his tan skin causing Jared to shiver in his sleep. He lifted the blanket up to wrap his arms around Jared’s waist and pulled him closer, needing to feel his soft, warm skin against his. Jared sighed in content as his sleepy eyes blinked open before he gave a drowsy smile “were you watching me sleep again?”

Normally he would have felt guilty but he grinned instead before moving closer and pressing their foreheads together with a gentle bump “I can’t help it…you’re so beautiful it’s too hard not to watch.”

Jared closed his eyes and smiled happily as he reached up with his hand to stroke Jensen’s cheek with a soft touch “I love you, you know…”

“I love you to Jay…I always have.”

 

Jared panted heavily as he sat the clothing filled box down before leaning back and taking a deep breath “damn…I didn’t realize how much shit I had, I’m a hoarder, that’s what I am a hoarder.”

Jensen laughed as he walked down the stairs, another box in his hands before he dropped it to the ground and took in Jared’s sweaty appearance “you know I have to agree with you…you are a hoarder and you always have been, remember when you were little? Every time you saw a damn rock you took it home with you, how many did you have? 20? 50?”

Jared rolled his eyes as he plopped himself down on the couch “oh shut up, you’re the one that encouraged it every time we walked through gravel oh hey Jared look at that one!” Jared looked up at Jensen with playful eyes “so if anything this whole hoarding thing is your fault.”

With an amused smile Jensen fell down beside him and laid his head in Jared’s lap as he sprawled out on the couch “well if were done with all this shit how about some pizza?”

“Can we have bacon on it?”

“Of course we can have bacon on it.”

 

“So we leave next week…have you thought about talking to your mom?”

 

Jared huffed as he looked across the table at Jensen who was casually eating his pizza “because that went so well last time?”  
“I know things didn’t go well, and I know you’re not ready to forgive her quite yet but she is your mom Jay I know your still hurt by what happened but it was 8 years ago and she’s your mother.”

Jared turned his head as he got up to dump his plate “you just don’t understand,” Jared whispered before he left the room.

Jensen snuck in the room a couple minutes later to find Jared huddled under the covers, the only thing showing is a sprig of chestnut hair and Jensen smiled softly before crawling under himself and coming face to face with a tear stained Jared.

“Your right I don’t understand and I never will because I wasn’t there for after, because I was a coward and I didn’t try harder to make you remember. I know you’re pissed at your mom but I need you to realize it’s just as much my fault as hers.”

Jared frowned and opened his mouth to retort before Jensen shook his head “I need…I need you to listen ok? I’ve needed to say this for 8 years…when I carried you out that night you kept your eyes on me the whole time. You were pale, bleeding and bruised and barley awake but somehow your eyes never left mine…and after I knew that at that moment you knew who I was. When I came to that hospital I was hoping to see those same eyes but instead you looked at me with these blank eyes, not the ones I knew…they were void and emotionless but I could still see the pain. I knew something was wrong before I even said anything…and when you said you didn’t know me I felt like I was going to die because you are my world Jay and you always have been. I didn’t tell you then because you were 10 and I wanted you to make your own choices but I’ve always loved you Jay…I haven’t been with anyone, there’s been no one but you my whole life and you are the only one I will ever want to be with.”

Jared gave a watery smile before throwing the covers back, jumping up and throwing himself on Jensen, tears flowing and spilling down Jensen’s neck.

“You’re not a coward Jen…I know you were scared and hurt and I don’t blame you and I know maybe I should and maybe some part of me is upset that you didn’t try harder but the important thing is that you never gave up. That you waited for me,” Jared sobbed, his voice cracking “I had no idea who you were and you didn’t give up hope that one day this would happen and that is why I don’t blame you.”

Jensen smiled as he pressed his face in Jared’s hair, taking in a deep breath and sighing at the warm smell of vanilla and something just Jared.

“But there is something I want to ask.”

Jensen pulled back and watched as Jared ducked his head before looking back up with wide, doe eyes and his hair falling in his face making him look like an angel. “Jen…I know this might not be the right time but…well I guess it never is but to me it is the right time and well will you make love to me?”

Jensen swallowed hard as he watched a deep blush settle over Jared’s face and a rush of warmth surge through him “right now?”

Jared bit his lip and nodded slowly causing Jensen’s pants to tighten before he smiled “I guess it’s time we both lose our v-cards huh?”

Jared’s eyes widened “you mean your—“

“A virgin? Yes…I told you I waited.”

Minutes later, Jensen and Jared are both naked, and Jensen is leaving bite after bite along Jared’s skin, not giving him a chance to stay stagnant for long. He marks his shoulders, sucks hard at his neck, digs his fingers into the hard flesh of Jared’s back, leaving more evidence there that Jared is his, and no one else’s. He comes back up for kisses every so often, ravishing Jared’s mouth—leaving Jared winded and pleading for more.

Jared lies back, spreading his legs wide and lifting his hips in indication. Jensen retrieves the message, moving his mouth lower, thrusting his tongue out behind Jared’s balls, leading a trail down until he’s lapping across the furled entrance. Jared keens, head lashing. Jensen becomes a man possessed, spreading Jared’s ass-cheeks and eating him out like he’s the most delightful thing in the world. To Jensen, he kind of is. Every touch, every noise, everything that Jared is doing is setting off warm feelings in Jensen’s belly. 

“F-Fuck, Jensen!” Jared cries out, pulling his legs back as far as they will go to give Jensen the room he needs. The slightly older man is quick to turn his head in, pushing his wet muscle as far as it will go, really tasting Jared. When a conniving finger slides in without Jared noticing, his eyes go wide and he breathes in to relax, prepared for all of this. He allows himself to enjoy the sensations that Jensen is giving him, throwing his head back against the pillow and moaning softly.

“Fuck… Ah… Jensen—now please now!” Jared whimpers, sweat marring his forehead, with a few strands of hair plastered against his cheeks. Jensen thinks he looks magnificent.

“Fuck yes,” Jensen replies, ready to reach for a condom and lube, but Jared’s hand tackles his wrist. Jensen looks back, disorderly—eyes questioning. The Jared mutters that he wants to feel Jensen, and Jensen’s heart almost explodes on the spot with arousal, his dick extending, begging Jensen to be buried inside Jared already. 

“Whatever you want,” Jensen says honestly, caressing Jared’s cheek in a soft gesture before he pours some lube on his cock, stroking the flesh a couple times until he feels slick enough. Then, he props a single leg on his right shoulder, locks eyes with the man beneath him and sinks in, slowly pushing through the constricted, silky walls, all the way down to the base. Jensen grits his teeth so hard they might shatter.

Jared breathes in deeply, trying to make body relax, promising that this will be great for them. 

He reaches out, pulling Jensen’s face towards him. Their eyes meet, and then their lips press closer together, tongues dancing in each other’s mouths. And that’s when Jensen realizes that Jared’s giving him an indicator to move. He does, hips sprawling back then pushing forward, creeping Jared further up the bed.

Gripping the sheets in a tight hold, Jared parts lips with Jensen, concentrating on his eyes instead, demanding with restrained actions that Jensen pick up the speed. The older man does, supporting himself on the headboard, as he conduits all of his power to his lower body, unable to help himself as he watches his cock disappear inside of Jared, catching the furled hole broadening around his cock, the skin dragging out along with him.

If anything, it turns him on even more, and soon, he’s plunging in, circling his hips capably, dragging his thick, long cock across Jared’s G-spot, not thinking for a second to drown out those shrieks of pure ecstasy.

Jensen bends Jared as far as he will go, allowing himself to dive cavernous into the boy, eyes trained on the bouncing of Jared’s heavy cock against his belly, the spasms of muscle all over Jared’s skin—everything about Jared is gorgeous.

In a struggle to meet Jensen thrust for thrust, Jared tightens his hole around Jensen’s cock, trying to give as much as he’s getting. Jensen’s eyes almost roll into their sockets, mouth falling open. His eyes squash shut, presenting the smile lines near his eyes. 

“I love you,” Jensen promises.

Jared glances up into his eyes, beholding the genuineness so bulbous in those bottle green eyes that hold so much understanding and adoration. They’re the eyes of man who is done waiting for something good to happen, the eyes of a man who finally got what he wanted. 

The motions don’t slow. Jensen merely slows down, enjoying each drag of skin, each arch of Jared’s graceful body, every lax moan and masticated curse.

“You’re beautiful, Jared,” he says tenderly, pulling Jared back with him. He holds Jared close to his chest, spreading his legs out and bouncing Jared on his cock, staring up into those striking hazel eyes.

Jared throws his head back and whines as he feels his orgasm pending, and Jensen thrusts up into him, growling low in his throat as Jared tenses and moans as Jensen fills his channel, body sagging against him as Jensen rocks them through their orgasm.

They fall back, with Jared lying over Jensen’s sweat-coated body, still filled with Jensen’s softening length. He lifts his head to smile at him before sharing a passionate kiss and resting his head in the crook of Jensen’s shoulder. “I love you to…”


End file.
